Dirty Talk
by LiveLoveLaugh
Summary: Being a sensible emotional incompetent guy he was, Shino would not try to dirty talk with his girlfriend—would he? With Sakura being the girlfriend, Kiba being the teacher, and Naruto being the audience. [ShinoXSaku] Oneshot


**Disclaimer:** Please, I don't need to own Naruto to write fanfiction.

Penname: _LiveLoveLaugh_

**Summary:** Being a sensible emotional incompetent guy he was, Shino would not try to dirty talk with his girlfriend—would he? With Sakura being the girlfriend, Kiba being the teacher, and Naruto being the audience. (ShinoXSaku) One-shot

**_Author's Note:_** Okay, I chose Sakura as our leading female character in this one-shot, besides where at this day of age would you find at least a couple of stories dedicated to the Shino and Sakura pairing? I recommend Butterflies by _Kagezuchi_ (id:1643118). I had also begun to remember a very early episode of _Friends_, where I was inspired to write this story from that certain incident in the first season with Ross and Joey, and Chandler—well, just read the one-shot.

**Dirty Talk**

It was no sooner when Sakura pulled the high collar of Shino's over-inflated beige jacket and pressed his lips against her's. Their lips began slow content swift movements with their calculated turns of their faces. Teeth began to knock together, their breaths mingled, and a wave of Shino's hand pulled a long drawn caress down her smooth cheek. Sometimes, this had always made her laugh since it was hard to continue this kind of sweet osculation with such a tall guy like the Aburame. She had always wondered whether his neck had ached from bending so low to swoop his lips with her's. She muffled a deep breathy sigh as Shino swiped his warm tongue to taste her molars, sweeping up her divine taste.

Her hands placed themselves on the high strong cuts of his limber shoulders, bringing him closer.

Shino had closed his eyes behind his dark sunglasses, enclosing the peek of light reflecting from the metal lamp post plastered to the right corner of her apartment door. He could only feel her tongue push and glide against his. Their feet made tweak turns that had their rubber soles of their open-toed ninja sandals shuffle with the plastic surface of the linoleum hallway.

His long fingers lightly pushed her chin up to meet more their kissing. His other hand unhurriedly rubbed her waist, feeling the soft fabric of her lilac tunic. She had arched her neck to push her lips further toward his, breaking his mind of thoughts with a breathtaking end of their making out course.

They broke apart, breathing gradually, sucking greedily of the air in between their small space.

Without a moment's notice, Sakura twisted around with the copper clinks of her keys, sticking one into the keyhole and opening the door hastily. She grinned to herself, simultaneously pushing the door open and pulling in a slightly surprised bug boy into her home. She threw away her jacket that hung from her arm throughout the entire date, including with her purse and keys. She quickly shut the door, the locks clicked swiftly. With a desirable glint in her smoldering emerald eyes, she watched Shino seat himself on one of her squishy couches with a humble expression of delicate curiosity and amusement.

"Sit down, Sakura-san," he whispered, in a voice that sent excitement up her spine and into that hitch of her breath.

She kicked off her sandals and slide towards the long couch with ease, lowering herself next to Shino, grasping the side of his pale face. She moved her body to capture his lips, their mouths began to stroke one and other. The heat was between them, taking them to a new roll. Sakura softly twine her tongue with his oh so hot muscle, dancing together in mixture of warmth and pleasure. Shino's rough hands moved around her back, holding her hips in place and running them through the ends of her long pink hair that fell to the side as she moved her lips to his cheek. Every touch of his was invigorating and so well placed…

It was soon that she laid her body on top of his, her ankles hitting his calves. He was too tall. Sakura held the wild brown tresses in between her fingers, nearly scalping him when he took a different route of kissing. She sucked gently on his colorless lip, moaning only slight when his knee inserted in between her slender legs. Her skirt was hiked up to her upper thighs, the flesh he must have felt behind his khaki pants. Her nails lightly raked the puffiness of his jacket, knowing how much it had always annoyed her.

She grabbed the zipper to the front of Shino's jacket, her eyes filled with lust and longing.

It was only then the Aburame took her hand into his, and pulled away his lips. The pink-haired woman snapped out of the heat, the luxurious intimacy, the comforting sequence of kissing and acceptance. Sakura watched in confusion when Shino took off his sunglasses, his eyes closed, of course, and placed them delicately on the coffee table. He patted the large square couch pillow behind his head, laying on it tiredly mixing his dark tresses with the deep plum velvet. He held her close to his body, lowering his dark eyes slightly as he watched Sakura blink more in confusion.

She obliged, having no idea what just happened, and continued this awkward cuddling with a very silent Shino.

**Intermission**

"YOU _CUDDLED?_" the dog boy barked outrageously, slamming a plate of his breakfast on the kitchen island. He gawked at his silent teammate who told him of his last night experience with the lovely Sakura.

"Yes…it was nice," Shino replied, blinking in slight confusion, "Have I done something wrong?"

"YEAH! You don't just _break_ off a kiss just to CUDDLE!" Kiba yelled, rolling his fingers around his temples in frustration.

Shino blinked.

"Then what should I have done?"

"Continue kissing at least!" Kiba stuffed several fired potatoes into his canine mouth, "Even girls know that you should have done that then break off intimacy!"

Akamaru barked in agreement.

"But you told me that girls like it when guys cuddle—"

"YES I SAID THAT! But that as Hell does not mean you should stop the kissing that instant! It puts girls into thinking about you, _and_ when they think, it would mean leading to _wrong_ conclusions—and I'm sure you don't want Sakura to think like that!"

Shino sipped his orange juice with pulp quietly, looking all around the small apartment—or so called, _Bachelor's Pad_—with their dull musty gray walls, lopsided stapled old movie posters, dozens of ramen bowls, milk cartons, the ridiculous chew toys, dirty chopsticks, and empty boxes dog treats strewed around for his Kikai bugs to crawl all over. The color of the orange rug was far more like chunks of throw-up. The curtains that hung lopsidedly, the squishy couches looked like they would swallow you whole if you sit on any of them, everything in this tiny apartment had definitely reminded him of loud repulsive Kiba.

And his mutt.

He sat uncomfortably on the cushioned stool with a porcelain plate of the Inuzuka Morning Scrabble Special, the eggs tasting as if it were both burnt and undercooked. He wiped his mouth politely with a napkin, and glanced lightly at Kiba behind his dark spectacles.

"No, I don't," he replied in his monotone. Shino did not like relationship advice from Kiba.

But it was nice to hear a second opinion.

_Especially_ if you were like Shino, who hadn't been _laid_—so called.

"So I'm correct!" Kiba puffed up his chest obnoxiously, like the alpha male he was, "But wait a minute," something did not click in his mind, Kiba bent over the dining island with his chin on his hand, "Why did you want to cuddle? I thought any guy would have the sense _not _to stop!"

Shino was struck dumb, now really uncomfortable in his skin, "I don't…know…"

"Come on and grow some _balls_, bug boy!" Kiba laughed, his clan tattoos looked menacing with his fanged smile, "For any virgin I'd known, I thought you'd be happy to get laid!"

The Aburame glared at him, adjusting his lens properly.

"I might be, Kiba, but I suppose I wasn't—" Shino collected his words, "—ready…"

"How can you not be ready? If I were you—which I'm happy I'm not—" his teammate's eyebrow twitched impatiently, "—I would have unzipped my fly and took her on the floor! Doggy-style!" Kiba howled in laughter.

"Would you please just stop? You're not helping," Shino muttered, angrily, "I will not _take_ anyone on the floor, as well take off my pants abhorrently in front of a fine woman like Sakura-san. And I hate to do _anything_ 'doggy-style', unfortunately."

"Okay, just a suggestion—"

"_I'd_ appreciate it if you gave me other sensible suggestions other than rape."

Kiba flinched at the deadly grave aura Shino gave off. "Man, you take everything so seriously," Inuzuka rolled his eyes, "If you want other suggestions, you could have asked—let's see…"

Miraculously, Kiba pulled open a drawer in the kitchen island, running his clawed hand through a massive pile of unorganized papers with a commercial jiggle coming off the tip of his tongue, humming along as he quickly scanned for something. He take out a black notebook and shoved the drawer shut, slapping the booklet on the countertop. Shino noticed Kiba had looked at the fetish notebook with pride and considerably ridiculous self-esteem.

Shino tilted his head, letting the lens shine white, as he twirled the notebook cover around. Bold silver lettering had adorned the cover, bringing a great importance: **Love Doctor Kiba's Book of Dating Tips for Virgins**.

Shino glared.

Kiba grinned, "Don't worry, you're not the only one who'd look into this book!"

"I feel quite relieved," Shino whispered, in the tiniest raw sarcasm he could muster.

"Okay! Okay, what do we have here?" Kiba flipped open the cover, revealing a mess of chicken scratches and ink smudges, "I had categorized each section of this baby by certain points where a guy might have troubles with! From _Eye Contact_, _Seeking Out A Chick, Flirting, Asking Out A Chick, Dating, Cuddling, Seduction, Nightly Rituals, First Base, How To Kiss, Second Base, Third Base, What You Would Do In Sex, A Woman's Body, How To Find Her G-Spot, Sexual Positions, Masturbation_—"

"We'll skip that," Shino murmured, placing a firm hand on the last one.

"Fine, fine! It's not like you've never done it before!" Kiba ignored the Bug Freak's blazing glower, sliding the notebook next to his plate of scrabble, "You look at it then!"

"That I will," he took the notebook, flipping through the lined pages.

Some pages were pinned and stapled with scrap paper, drawings, experiences, and advice. Some many sections he knew he passed with flying colors. While reading, Shino felt very astonished at every detailed description Kiba wrote in the notebook, he was frankly quite curious at the section listed _Seduction_. He turned to the pages, seeing the scribbled words that was then listed by the ways you could seduce your girl, or something like that.

What made him quite confuse was the next page of _Seduction_, was this sort called _Dirty Talk_. What in the world is _Dirty Talk_?

Kiba snorted once, then passing seconds flew by when he fell on his knees and cackled like a mad man he was. He was literally wiping tears from his eyes when he saw what Shino had pointed to—God, he was such a virgin.

"Something wrong?"

"_No_—" he coughed in his hand, and couldn't seem to help from grinning, "—I-Im surprised you want to _dirty talk_ to S-Sakura!" He snorted and laughed again, slapping one hand over his spasm mouth, his elbow knocking over an empty cup and banged his fist on the table top with fierce humorous thoughts in his very crazed mind.

Shino was far from impressed, asking again, "What's dirty talking?"

Kiba looked up, "You really want to know?"

A small shrug, "I suppose."

"Okay," Kiba bent over the countertop, secretly whispering over a cupped hand on his mouth, "But I hate to burst your bubble 'cause the word 'talking' isn't part of your vocabulary, _if_ you know what I mean…"

A blink.

"…do you mean I have to start a conversation with Sakura-san…?"

That didn't seemed to be that hard, Sakura-san is a good listener—

"HELL NO!" Kiba cried, then his voice falter, "Well…maybe, only a little—but that's not all of it," he snatched the notebook from his Kikai wielding hands and began to read aloud, like a teacher would to a bunch of kindergarteners, "'_Dirty Talk_ is a type of _exchange_ a guy would do with a girl when they are intimate. If effective, a girl would feel aroused and definitely want more of him. Dirty talking consists of references where a guy says what he thinks of when he fantasizes of sexual scenarios with the girl, sometimes dirty talking would start during kissing or a course of second base. It supposed to stimulate vigorous activities of both mentally and emotionally, as well physically.'"

Shino blinked. Realization dawned.

"I think I understand—"

"Hey!" Kiba smirked, reading ahead, "Looks like I left a note here for Dirty Talk virgins: 'If you didn't pull off dirty talking, might as well not try it again!'" He erupted to satanic giggling.

Shino sweat-dropped, "Why…would someone try something like…that…?"

"_Do I need to repeat myself again?_" Kiba barked impatiently, snapping the book shut, "Do you want to try it or not?"

A silence. "…fine…" There was a fierce struggle in his voice.

"Goodie!" Kiba shoved the plates of uneaten breakfast aside, clearing everything up except for the black notebook. He quickly picked up a sniffing grown up Akamaru by his collar and took him to his room, while explaining everything to him with a set of guttural barking and dog language. He locked the door, and walked hastily over to his still sleeping roommate's room, checking if he's still asleep that is.

Shino blinked, "I didn't know you had a roommate, Kiba." The alpha male closed the door lightly.

"I don't," Kiba smirked, "That's just that loser Naruto…"

His eyebrow raised only a tiny portion, "Why is Naruto-san staying with you? I thought he was staying at Neji-san's."

"I know, but the white-eyed teme is having a fit or something—but who cares," Kiba waved it off, "So the groom is going to stay over at my place until the Uzumaki-Hyuuga wedding."

"But he's sleeping…why were you—"

"We need privacy."

Shino sensed nervous sweat pouring off his teammate.

"Why do we need priv—"

"WOULD YOU—_please_ just stop IT with the DAMN questions?" Kiba snapped, glancing at the door again and again.

He took a long draw of breath, dusting off his white undershirt that hugged his solid muscular body like a second skin. Shino's brow rose a bit higher, in question.

The two eighteen year old men stared at each other from across the room.

The muscle on the corner of Kiba's mouth fidgeted, "So you really want to learn?"

A slight frown, "…yes…"

"Do you love Sakura?"

"Yes…" _Where is he going with this?_

Shino narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

Kiba folded his arms together and leaned against the wall, "Okay, tell me what you like to do to Sakura."

Shino's eyebrows shot up in exasperation, choking out, "Excuse me?"

"Tell me what you like to do to Sakura."

"…you have to be kidding…"

Kiba shook his head, snickering, "Hell no."

Shino pushed his index finger against the apex of his sunglasses, quite nervously, "…w-why do I need to tell you this…?"

"Because it's part of teaching simple virgins like you," the Aburame desperately wanted to rip off the smirk plastered on that smug face of his. He continued ignored what Kiba had absentmindedly was talking about, and thought about this motive.

Now that Shino started to think about it, there were quite a few things he wanted to do with Sakura but always hesitate to do so.

"Of course, I'm sure Sasuke would like to do lot of things to Sakura too…"

He had put on a well-formed Aburame glare that could ignite a thousand candles, Shino glared and snarled like an angry wasp when some foolish human just trampled on his hive. His wild dark hair had turned into sharp ringlets, that almost resemble horns of a giant black beetle. His black Kikai were already filtering out of his coat sleeves. His sunglasses glimmered solid white, with streaks of gold and blinding light. Bulging eyes like the magnified tubes of quick dashing dragonflies. His eyes were fierce with soaring jealousy and rage and his fists grasped each other into solid fists, ready to sting like a bee and float like a butterfly!

Kiba widened his eyes, the slits of his pupils turned teeny tiny when he had accidentally said the thoughtless words in front of an agitated Kikai wielder. He had also remembered the huge rivalry Shino and Sasuke had with one and other for Sakura's straying heart, it was then Shino had taken the prize. But he had also been gifted with a renewed jealousy whenever he saw the two Team Seven members getting acquainted with each other.

Wow, that seemed almost like years ago.

"Okay, okay! Forget that!" Kiba broke through Big Bad Jealous Shino, waving his hand in front of his hollow specs.

"I'll do it," Shino whispered deeply, still in his uncontrollable mood.

"Alright," Kiba sighed, relieved, "I just need to know what you want to do to Sakura."

"I…can't say…"

"Why not?"

"I…don't know…"

"Okay, then imagine me as Sakura."

Shino narrowed his eyes, "You got to be joking."

"No, come on! Imagine me as Sakura!"

"You know I can't do that."

"Aw! Come on you _wuss_! Just PRETEND I'm SAKURA and JUST tell me you want to caress my butt!"

There was a lingering and vigilant silence.

Shino got off his stool, "I'm leaving."

"Oh no you don't Mister _Virgin!_" Kiba grabbed his motionless arm, and pulled him into the living room, "You agreed to do it!"

"I don't have to do anything—"

"Hell yeah you do!"

"I don't need to—"

"Yeah you will! Or ELSE you'd never get LAID! And Sakura would just think you're _nothing_ BUT stale _white_ toast! And _then_ you have to LIVE ALL BY YOUSELF! And _die_ an OLD MAID! And Sakura would fall in LOVE with _another_ man who WOULD dirty talk AND who ISN'T a VIRGIN! And you'd be CRYING! And WHINING! Like a SISSY! And _sooner_ or _later_ you're be asking me how to _properly_ MASTURB—"

Shino clapped a sharp hand over Kiba's blabbering mouth, sighing and standing solidly on his sandaled feet, "Fine…I'll do it…as long as it would make you shut up…"

"Hehehehehehe! I knew I got you on that one!" Kiba cackled, pulling off his pale hand from his mouth.

Shino frowned very upsettingly.

"…what do…I…need to do…?" he asked, his entire body shivering.

"Just pretend I'm Sakura, and tell me what you like to do to me, that's all," Kiba cocked his head, his hands akimbo.

Shino stared at him with a deliberate angry look, impatient to get it over with.

"I-I need…you to turn around…"

"_OH!_ I GET IT!" Kiba giggled, "I understand what you'll do now, ya nasty nasty boy!"

"_That's_ not what I meant," Aburame muttered, right away before anyone gets any bad ideas, "I can't say anything if you keep _looking_ at me…"

Kiba huffed, "Fine, fine! Such a _pussy!_" He turned around, facing the island and kitchen. He quickly bent forward and grabbed a bagel from the counter, eating it while tapping his feet animatedly, "Say what you need to say, and I'll…uh, evaluate you I guess."

Shino sweated underneath his thick coat, as he tried his best to imagine the back of Kiba's messy hair with a smiling blushing face of Sakura's. Her flowing hair of radiant pink waves and bright emerald eyes that sparkled with light laughter. Her delicate pink mouth quirked into sweet smiles and her nose scrunched up, as a small kitty tongue stuck out playfully through the pretty lips of her's. Her skin was pale but shone with a light pink tint, that he just admired. His eyes went down to see her slender neck that turned to reveal a collarbone, and pale shoulders. Her ample chest, trim arms with pretty hands, a thin waist connected to flared hips that moved side to side whenever she walked towards him, and he saw her long willowy legs that arched with well-formed muscles and the right curves on her feminine thighs and calves. Shino saw her delicate ankles and appealing feet with her cute little toes.

But all that would always turn back to his canine teammate who ate his bagel with boredom.

His heart flurried as he sweated, his eyebrows twitching. His Kikai were literally swarming and rumbling under his skin. His pheromones rising to a ridiculous point. Yes, Shino wanted to do a lot of things to Sakura but, at this very instant sharing this sort of intimate stuff like this with a teammate is absolutely—and especially saying it _aloud_—he had got to be kidding himself.

Shino closed his eyes behind his sunglasses, gulping down a small lump in his long throat. He had now transformed into a nervous wreck, stuttering and pausing along, "I-I need t-to t-touch you n-now…I n-need to feel…y-your…s-soft s-skin under my h-hands…"

Kiba grinned, "Hey! That's not bad! Continue."

Small encouragement. He needed that.

"I-I need…h-hear your…p-pretty m-moan…" Shino swallowed his spit, a small bug crawled around his ear, "I-I have to k-know you…l-like i-it _bad_…"

"Okay. Go on."

"I m-must know…t-that you…you w-want me to…c-caress over y-your chest…and sl-slender l-legs…t-to feel your g-goose-b-b-bumps…"

"Go on."

"I-I want…to…run…m-my tongue all…over y-you…" Oh, Shino could imagine it now, "…your b-body…un-until you t-tremble w-with…w-with…with…"

There was a loud creak far behind the two.

The two Team Ten members were stunned rock-still, it had been so long and quiet that they were more intrigued by the test of dirty talking that they hadn't even notice Naruto waking up from his bed. The door was well oiled so when Naruto opened the door, it didn't make any noise. He was curious of the talking outside. But when Naruto had overheard what the two were telling each other, and definitely of the dirty talk Shino was giving to Kiba, he grinned like a maniac. Since they hadn't notice his prescense, he stalked quietly to a desk behind Shino, standing and giggling to himself as Shino talked so dirty to a very encouraging Kiba.

It so happened with the last part, Naruto had kneeled against the desk chair which made a sharp creak against the orange throw-up carpet floor. He folded his lips together from letting out a huge laugh when the two trembling fools turned around to see his giggling form. He folded his arms, his electric blue eyes glittered with nasty amusement. Naruto looked up at his Sakura-chan's boyfriend with a tilt of his head and a shrug of his shoulder, and a gesturing wave of his hand.

"…with?"

Definitely, the best wedding present ever.

**Intermission**

After the Uzumaki-Hyuuga wedding had ended, everyone had entered the reception hall to dine and dance to the divine music of one of Fire Country's best swing bands, Naruto kept clicking his tongue at Shino while pulling his new wife Hinata close to him. He wagged his finger, making the word 'naughty' very jaunty and disgusting. The bespectacled young man tightened his lips into a taut thin line, as he filled his glass with more sake and his plate of pastries. He watched Kiba in a tux flirting with a few young giggling Hyuuga girls, and his wink at his teammate when they both saw Sakura striding in her cream-colored bridesmaid dress.

Shino knew she was probably a little upset at him, when she walked past his table to the other bridesmaids Ino and Temari, the two blondes who fought endlessly for the attention of Nara Shikamaru. Her hair was twisted into a coil twined with orchid blossoms and lilies. She walked with her back straight and her eyes were livid pools of green.

To make him stare longer at her, Sakura deliberately looked at Sasuke from across the dance floor. That Uchiha bastard had long noticed it and acknowledged her stare with a _look_ of his own.

This had blazed up Shino's temper. _Fucking bastard_. He almost broke the sake glass in his hand, that he got up immediately from his cushioned chair and walk towards Sakura. He softly picked up her hand and pulled her to dance.

He sighed, knowing he'd better grow a set of balls.

Sakura was amazed and forgave him for her hurt pride last night, she smiled gradually and twirled in Shino's arms. Shino, being the smooth man he was, had guided the both of them to the open double doors to the lit streets of Konohagakure instead. The music disappeared behind them, his hands stroking her back and he swoop her lips with his.

His tongue lavished her sweet taste and pulling her closer to his body than ever before, accepting her body far more than before. Sakura breathed in his scent, thanking herself for buying him the mint-tinged cologne. Shino pulled her away from the reception hall, away from the celebration, to the middle of street where his long neck bent down for his lips to breathe ticklish warmth into her ear.

He grinned softly at that, "Let's_ talk_."

**Fin**

_I thought this was pretty good, what do you guys think?_


End file.
